Heya, commentariat! Normally I would post the news that Esme Morgan got a callup to England, and that Rebecca Bernal got a callup to Mexico. I would post the actual insta stories and show giant graphics to celebrate their achievements. However, though I’m thrilled as heck for them in no less measure than normal, there just won’t be space in this post for those graphics, cuz the soccerpocalypse that was last night cannot be contained otherwise. While the DMV will not host a single game of the upcoming World Cup, I’m gonna go ahead and say that a North American World Cup Tournament is local enough that we should get to it right away.

So, here we go!

2026 World Cup squads ranked: All 48 national teams that can win this summer– ESPN

This ESPN article ranks that 48 teams that have qualified. Remember, Iran is still one of them. If you’d like to peruse the teams that have qualified with touches of analysis, this will do ya.

To find out what happened in the drama filled World Cup Qualifying Playoff deciders last night, read on.

Italy miss out on third straight WC in shootout loss to Bosnia– ESPN

Things looked promising for Italy when they took an early lead due to a disastrous pass by the Bosnian goalkeeper. The play concluded with a sumptuous Moise Kean finish. However, not long after, the former World Cup powerhouse suffered an early sending off when Bastoni cleaned out a Bosnian player who was running full tilt toward the box. Would that player have turned the corner and scored? With Bastoni the furthest defender back, the ref stuck to the laws of the game, and issued a straight red. Italy and (especially) Donnarumma did their level best to lock it down, but were unable to resist a barrage of Bosnian attacks that were both urgent and frequent. Nevertheless, after suffering a second half concession, Italy managed to wrestle it through extra time to PKs, knowing they have a great PK shot stopper. But Bosnia took four great PKs. Italy took 2 bad ones. It ended an astonishing 4-1 in the shootout, and Italy must figure out how they can regain their standing. Having missed their third straight World Cup, even one with the lowest bar for qualification in the tournament’s history, whether they can rise from the ashes remains to be seen.

Congo DR can finally banish the FIFA World Cup green ghosts of 52 years ago– ESPN

Congo DR did their fans proud, overcoming Jamaica and their goalkeeper, Andre Blake, to secure history for their nation.

Sweden qualify for World Cup after Viktor Gyökeres hits late winner against Poland– The Guardian

Sweden did not have a stellar qualifying campaign, but they did manage to navigate their playoff games, capping them off with a 3-2 drama fest against Poland. Polish legend, Robert Lewandowski, did hint at international retirement after the game, in which he was not able to get on the score sheet.

Türkiye win playoff to set up USMNT clash at 2026 World Cup– ESPN

The Turks did enough, scoring back to back 1-0 wins in their playoff matches to secure a spot in the group which boasts the USMNT as the top seed. Group D now consists of the US, Türkiye, Paraguay, and Australia. Though the US has managed narrow 2-1 wins against Paraguay and Australia while suffering a 2-1 loss to Türkiye in the last 6 months, that familiarity might not be enough if Mauricio Pochettino cannot configure a lineup and instill the right form in his side. More on that to come.

Czechia outlasts Denmark in penalties to qualify for 2026 World Cup– USA Today

Czechia, who few believed had the current talent pool to qualify through the World Cup qualifying gauntlet, managed to push through extra time to force penalty kick shootout wins against both their playoff opponents, first Republic of Ireland and then Denmark. Remarkable dedication to make the 48. Take a bow, Czechia.

Iraq qualify for World Cup with win over Bolivia– Reuters

Though the result is huge, both a balm for the Iraqi people and devastation for Bolivian hopes of ending a three decade WC drought, the story of how Iraq managed to get here in the first place after enduring astonishing obstacles and trials is even more remarkable. Iraq earns a spot in a the brutal Group I, featuring France, Senegal, and a Erling Haaland led Norway. However, Iraq’s disciplined and embattled fortitude will likely be a headache for those powerhouses as they vie for supremacy and goal differential.

Infantino says Iran ‘will be at the World Cup’ despite war with United States– The Guardian

The Guardian’s John Wilson covers the comments made by FIFA President, Gianni Infantino, who insists Iran will play in the tournament they duly qualified for. The figure made no direct comments on whether the games would be played on US soil, which Iran has tried to avoid with direct negotiations with the Mexican government. However, the lack of comment does not imply support for relocation, either. Buckle up.

The final batch of World Cup tickets is about to go on sale. Here are 5 things to know– NPR

Last sale begins today at 11 AM. It’s still not great.

USMNT’s problems resurface in 2-0 friendly defeat to Portugal — ‘It’s just the same story’– Yahoo

Welp, these warmups weren’t great. Hoping to right the course of the WC host nation ahead of the tournament after a 5-2 dismantling at the hands of Belgium, the US took on a very talented Portugal side. An irresponsible first half giveaway led to a concession, then a loss. To read Donald’s rundown in Stars and Stripes FC, look no further than this link.

USMNT ‘shocked’ by jersey clash in loss to Belgium: ‘It was almost like a 50-50 thing’– Yahoo

When the USMNT took on Belgium in their tune up friendly last Saturday, the players were left befuddled when they took off their training tops ahead of kickoff. At that point, they discovered their jerseys were not coordinated in any reasonably managed way, both featuring light color schemes that did not differ enough for the players, much less the broadcast. The mandatory approval and oversight processes broke down at several stages, leading the sides at halftime to wonder if they should retrieve a darker kit from their hotels. Completely unacceptable, soccer teams featuring kiddos can manage this.

Proposed Baltimore soccer stadium will not receive state funding in 2026– The Baltimore Banner

The DC United ownership group’s proposed stadium project in Baltimore just hit a snag.

NWSL Power Rankings: What’s wrong with Washington Spirit?– ESPN

ESPN asks the question, why is the 2025 NWSL Playoff Finalist winless after 4 matches?

The above question gets a potential explanation by Lesley Ryder on Tiktok, using supporting analysis from Andre and Jason within the video. Yeah, for better or for worse, we are the area coverage now, pretty much.

It’s been a crazy day, so feast your eyes upon this logo. USL is bringing the strange and unique to club identities, and we love it.

That’s all I’ve got! One-up me in the comments, and have a great sporting day!